I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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