Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
