I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
