i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You've changed since you got that strap on
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
