Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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