Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
