I CAN MOONWALK!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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