I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize