ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
