What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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