She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
