Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
