i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He shit in the fireplace
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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