she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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