She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
