I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
