we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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