woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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