I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
