dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
