I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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