I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
