hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I need to stop coming to work sober
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
