Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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