she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
