Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Randomize
