She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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