Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
