Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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