oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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