Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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