My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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