does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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