The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
