So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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