someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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