Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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