so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Found the puke drawer
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
