I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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