I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You pole danced in your parka.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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