I wish life had little blips of pornography
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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