That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
