using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
