doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Everyone says I win the strip club
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
