Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
