I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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