if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
