he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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