The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
