At least make sure they are 18
Why
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
