it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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