I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
