do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
