I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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