Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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