never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wear drunk well.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
