I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
