Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
