Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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