did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
