i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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